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Monday, February 2, 2009

Where do you put your garbage?

A little over ten days ago, the media airwaves began to be flooded and “twittered” with corporate indiscretions regarding how bailout funds were really being spent -
luxury jets, family trips to Baja, year end bonuses are de rigueur (even though companies weren’t profitable) but what stuck in my craw most was the purchase of a “$1,400 Parchment Waste Can.”

Supposedly, the tab for said “Waste Can” has been reimbursed, along with the entire redecorating fee of $1.22 million for the corporate corner office, which is no longer inhabited by the waste can’s owner. He was summarily fired when the pancakes hit the fan… justifiably so. But, and this begs a BIG question, “What on earth kind of garbage goes in a $1,400 Parchment Waste Can?”

I can only imagine – a broken string of Black Tahitian Pearls? No, they probably would be worth the effort to have them restrung at your local jeweler. Maybe old paper stock certificates from one of the big three automakers… nah, there’s some historical value to having a real paper stock certificate – they’re almost too good to cash in, because they are very pretty and just aren’t printed anymore.

Eureka! I know exactly what would go in a $1,400 Parchment Waste Can… the bill for the $1.22 million decorating job that was probably arrogantly tossed away (no need for tax records here, a cancelled check will do) and was possibly dumped out by the evening office cleaning lady or lad, whose tax dollars paid for the redecorating job… thus likely ending in the hands of one diligent investigative reporter. (Amen, and thank you to fellow members of a dwindling occupation.)

Maybe the smarter thing (all along) would have been to purchase a “United Receptacle Dimension 500 Series 29-Gal Litter Receptacle” - on Google you can find them for as low as $863.19, and here’s the best part… they are “durable, fire-safe and vandal-resistant.” Then again, maybe it just wouldn’t match the corner office suite décor – time for a decorator conference.

I guess nobody would ever look for a pink slip there.

4 comments:

Omay said...

Knowing some of "those" folks, I'm sure they don't understand the question. You go girl! :)

Paula Slade said...

I'm beginning to rethink this - maybe just a simple plastic bag in a RubberMaid container might do the trick! :)

samgillogly said...

Sometimes we just use a left-over Trader Joe's brown paper shopping bag, and chuck stuff into it. If you think about it, that's sort of parchment too! Only, like, free. :P

Paula Slade said...

Great idea!!! I think I'll pass it along to the Secretary of the Treasury! ;)