Autumn fun: Pick-your-own-pumpkins a definitive guide

“Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.”– Linus – from It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

If the weather is cooperating where you live, and if you’re looking for an entertaining and fun-filled afternoon, why not make an outing for the whole family and pick-your own pumpkin for Halloween?

To plan your trip, there’s a wonderful and comprehensive website, Pumpkin Patches and More, where you'll find a pumpkin patch near you, take a peek at what it’s like to traverse a corn maze (in daylight or at night) and locations for safe trick-or-treating, hayrides and more.

Be sure to scroll further down on all of the linked pages that have been provided and you’ll see listings for not only pumpkin picking in the United States, but pick-your-own-farms for many other fruits and vegetables in the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa.

You’ll also find a super recipe for making pumpkin pie from scratch, information on pumpkin festivals and weigh-offs, and even a “how-to” for making a carved pumpkin last longer.

In the video below, P. Allen Smith, gardening maven, visits a pick-your-own site, and takes us on a quick historical tour about Halloween’s most popular vegetable-like fruit, the pumpkin.

If you’ve already purchased this year’s pumpkin but are still looking for another fun outing, check out my earlier post, It’s Apple Pickin’ Time: The Definitive Guide to pick your own apples nationwide – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4.



For more fun seasonal offerings, be sure to visit my other website: Paula Slade: National Children's Entertainment

Welcome to the funny skies

"Flying. Whatever any other organism has been able to do man should surely be able to do also, though he may go a different way about it." ~ Samuel Butler ~

A little over a year ago, I wrote the post, “Welcome to the Friendly Skies Again,” which featured Southwest Airlines and their “unique corporate culture” that allows employees to be themselves and have fun, which ultimately translates into happier and less stressed out passengers.

At the time, I thought nothing could top Southwest’s YouTube sensation, the “Rapping Flight Attendant” or their on-board “toilet paper races.”

Well, I was wrong.

The other day I received a hysterical email that opened my eyes to another budget airline; this one headquartered in Johannesburg, South Africa – Kulula Air, a wholly owned subsidiary of Comair Limited.

Kulula goes way over the top making passengers smile with their brightly colored Boeing 737 aircraft fleet, which is promoted as “Flying 101,” and includes painted text that points out various under-the-skin aircraft components.

I had to grin when I took a closer look at the forward left cockpit area designated with an arrow pointing to “the big cheese” – this is where the captain sits.

In the email I received, there were reported samples of Kulula’s in-flight announcements, which said, “Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight safety lecture and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported.”

I have to tell you I laughed quite hard as I read them, but was skeptical that many of these one-liners were the product of someone’s over active humor gland, so I did some sleuthing and found the smoking gun, which is in the YouTube video at the end of this article.

For airline stories/jokes, these are some of the best in the business.

On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

From a Kulula employee: " Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

“Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines.”

"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

(From the pilot during his welcome message) "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

(Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town, the flight attendant came on the intercom and said) "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault; it was the asphalt."

Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline.” He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for an elderly lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."

Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

A plane was taking off from Durban Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger then yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!”

NOW… if you think these were not for real – check out this video.

Have a great weekend, and keep smiling. Laughter is always the best medicine for anything that ails you.

It’s Apple pickin’ time: The definitive guide to pick-your-own apples nationwide Part 3- The Who, What, Where When and How of Apple Picking

Most pick-your-own orchards provide containers but it’s always a good idea to ask if you need to bring your own, and if there is a minimum harvest required along with method of payment.

Pickyourown.org. is a great resource for finding the nearest location nationwide for pick-your-own apples They also cover international locations such as: Canada, Britain, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and many other countries.

In planning your excursion, be sure to check out availability of specific apple varieties, as ripening and harvest times will vary.

Also, ask about unique features that many of the orchards offer such as baked goods, jellies and apple specialty items, as many maintain gift shops in addition to family friendly children’s activities.

Dress in layers as fall weather can be unpredictable and wear comfortable walking shoes.

When picking apples, gently pull and twist simultaneously. If you get two apples next to each other on the same branch, gently pull both at the same time but twist each in the opposite direction.

When you bring your harvest home, remember that apples do best stored in a cool (35 to 45 degrees) dry place, with lower light, but if they need to ripen, room temperature is the answer.

- HAPPY PICKIN’- Check back tomorrow for a special recipe for your harvest.